We asked a top celebrity, TV presenter Jeremy Kyle, whether Michael Owen should be England’s first-choice striker for Germany 2006.*
Jeremy answered: “No”
Quite simply, football is a team game and Michael Owen is not a team player. Owen has never formed a good partnership with another forward, and does not contribute to the team by holding the ball up […]

We asked a top celebrity, actress Kelly Greenwood, whether Michael Owen should be England’s first-choice striker for Germany 2006.*
Kelly answered: “Yes”
Owen has to be included in the England team this summer. Football is about scoring goals, so dropping your top goalscorer is not a sensible proposition. Owen’s pace and presence can also stretch opposition defences […]

Hippos excrete a red liquid from their pores, which protects their skin from sun and infection!
Hippos can open their mouths up to 150 degrees wide!
Adult hippos have only two enemies in the world: other hippos and humans!
Most Hippos (56%) think that Michael Owen is overrated!

Results are now in from the first World Cup Hippo poll! An incredible 14 people took part and the findings must be Sven’s biggest wake up call since his Chelski alarm clock went off this morning.
Steven Gerrard is Sven’s most important midfielder: a massive 57% of the nation argues that he’s the most crucial cog […]

An open letter to The Independent’s James Lawton from Herr Hippo.
Dear James
Lucid, forthright, but with a dash of baroque - your prose provides the perfect vessel with which to ladle in your unique brand of pompous Boys’ Own machismo. There is in fact a chance that your prose may become so self-satisfied that it will […]

A brilliant new scientific method has been devised to assess the ability of footballers. University eggheads believe that this approach might just revolutionise football management and punditry. Dr Zytuz Xuvv (pictured), Senior Lecturer in Clinical Conjecture at the University of Middlesex explains all:
“This new system is called the ‘Player Name Integer-Conversion Interface’. Based on a simple […]

Incredibly The News of the World has revealed today that two well-known footballers have been involved in a GAY ROMP and have CAVORTED with a GAY MAN from the music industry. However, World Cup Hippo has further details which make The News of the World’s revelations look tame indeed.
Research suggests that around 3% of the […]

Ah, the perils of punditry! Herr Hippo writes off the summertime potential of two England hopefuls (’Analysis‘ article) then within a few days they’ve reasserted their credentials. Jermaine Defoe has been well out of favour at Tottenham this season. His confidence was allegedly damaged when he was withdrawn at half-time in the Denmark v England […]

World Cup Hippo is proud to announce that Desktop Herr Hippo is now ready to download. You followed the Ashes with Desktop Richie, and the French Open with Desktop Tiger Tim, now have the company of Desktop Herr Hippo all through the sporting highlight of 2006.
What’s on your desktop?

A workstation desktop without Desktop Herr Hippo […]