Tricky things friendlies! Reporting on them requires the same skills as those utilised by a broadsheet journalist reviewing a French art-house film – you couldn’t make head or tail of it but still have to write something which makes you sound clever.

England were put under very little pressure by Uruguay and were looking pretty lively when Pouso scored a freak wonder-goal to give the South Americans an undeserved lead.  England had the vast majority of possession afterwards but despite fashioning a few opportunities they lacked cutting edge. That was until deep into the second-half, when the substitutes who had arrived on the hour made the telling impact. Crouch pulled us level with a good header, and man of the match Joe Cole scored the winner with the last kick of the game from a Wright-Phillips cross. L’enfer c’est les autres.

Herr Hippo rating: 8/10 - Cole, J: Lively in the first half and looked dangerous. Had a quieter spell at the beginning of the second half, but was then involved heavily in all England’s key breakthroughs.
7/10 - Carrick: Caught out of position possibly for a couple of early Uruguay breaks but was otherwise composed and is our best option for defensive midfield.
Terry: Solid in defence and almost scored after a direct run from the halfway line.
Crouch: Made a big impact in a short space of time. Scored and then put Joe Cole through for what was almost a second goal.
Wright-Phillips: Immediately livened things up on the right when introduced.
6/10 - Robinson: Not tested, no chance with goal.
Neville: Mostly sound, involved in some meaningful build-up play but not very visible on the overlap.
Carragher: Played well with some good distribution but a very defensive defender and not likely to get forward like Cole, A. or Bridge. Established himself as third choice for this position however.
Rooney: Worked hard but little impact and failed to connect with Bent.
King: Solid and could end up a safer bet than Rio.
5/10 - Ferdinand: Hardly tested, but still managed a few Corporal Klutz moments. Should not be guaranteed a starting place this summer.
Gerrard: Gave the ball away quite a lot and didn’t make any genuine impact from his favoured central position. Could still be our best player in Germany – keep the faith!
Beckham: Plodding and ineffective in the first-half, absent until subbed in the second. A shame we won’t have a chance to try an England midfield without him until post-Germany.
Bent: Didn’t get into the game and made little contribution, but deserves another chance.  

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