Serbia and Montenegro

by Herr Ed

Football magazine World Soccer makes a rather bold claim in its editorial this month:

“The neutral in everybody wants Brazil to do well in Germany because they have the potential to provide the fantasy element that is lacking in so much modern football. After Greece’s ‘fairytale’ triumph in Portugal in Euro 2004 – the triumph of power over skill – it is needed more than ever.”

What a lot of hokum! The neutral in me certainly doesn’t want to see Brazil in the World Cup final for the 28th consecutive time. The media are always desperate for the big teams featuring big players from Europe’s big clubs to do well so that they can create a spiralling edifice of sensationalism. It clearly wasn’t on for Greece to play above themselves in 2004 and expose the high profile European nations as a bunch of overrated nonentities. The media obviously got rather disconsolate, as little known Greek players like Charisteas and Zagorakis didn’t provide the marketability required to fuel tedious hyperbole. Brazil performing well in Germany this year will still be a fantasy for me - but a rubbish fantasy like Krull or Willow. World Cup 2006 will quite simply be ruined for many neutrals if there is too much simpering and fawning over Brazil. “Oooohhh, Ronaldinho, that’s just breathtaking! Ooooh, mesmerizing stuff from the Brazilians!”

Let us then hope that World Cup 2006 sees a team with few big names triumph. In my personal fairytale an unglamorous nation wins by defending deep, flooding the midfield, and kicking any arrogant step-over prinkers into the advertising hoardings. I want to see resolute no-frills teamwork (structured within a 5-4-1 formation) win the World Cup. That’s why I’m rooting for Serbia and Montenegro. They only conceded one goal in their 10 qualifying matches so could be just the team to spoil the World Cup for those idiots who want to see flowing football, amazing skills and great goals.

Ivica Dragutinovic gets a foot inSerbia and Montenegro only have a few players who may be recognisable to the English viewer – centre-back Nemanja Vidic recently joined Man Utd, striker Mateja Kezman had one lacklustre season with Chelsea, and midfielder Dejan Stankovic plays for Inter Milan. Asides from this triumvirate there shouldn’t be much for the sensation-hungry to latch onto. So Koroman, Duljaj, Djordevic, Zigic, Dragutinovic et al are just the men to choke the contrived media hullabaloo into a meek silence.  I hope they progress from Group C with a 1-0 win and two scoreless draws – then draw the next four games 0-0, winning all of them in penalty shoot-outs.

9 Responses to “Serbia and Montenegro”

  1. Wes Truth says:

    I hope Germany win due to the officials being bribed by Beckenbauer. Obviously we won’t be able to find out whether or not this happens until a ‘Dick & Dom Investigate’ investigation in 2015 when everything will beome clear.

    Otherwise I would be happy to see Serbia beat Poland in a bad tempered final.

  2. Wes Truth says:

    Who was to blame for the one goal Serbia conceded in their qualifying group?

  3. Herr Ed says:

    Kolo Toure

  4. Herr Colin says:

    I’m with you on that Herr Ed, all that pointing to the sky gets on my tits.

  5. Wes Truth says:

    Either Toure or Ronnie Rosenthal.

  6. The Ghost of Dennis Watts says:

    Serbia & Montenegro (or anyone else) could feasibly win the World Cup without scoring a goal.

    3 goalless draws, would be enough to get them 2nd place in a group with 2 poor teams who draw with each other and lose to the group winners (who themselves drew with SM). Thus paving the way for four consecutive 0-0 AET SM win on penalties results.

    Looking further back, a similar methodology could be applied to the group stages, meaning a team could win the World Cup, from scratch without scoring a single goal. The dream of George Graham enthusiasts everywhere.

  7. Wes Truth says:

    I’d like to see a team win the World Cup without touching the ball with their feet.

  8. The Ghost of Dennis Watts says:

    Possible, if you have a goalkeeper who can throw a long way, or a team of players trained by circus seals to use their heads.

  9. Wes Truth says:

    Sea-lions surely!

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