Football magazine World Soccer makes a rather bold claim in its editorial this month:

“The neutral in everybody wants Brazil to do well in Germany because they have the potential to provide the fantasy element that is lacking in so much modern football. After Greece’s ‘fairytale’ triumph in Portugal in Euro 2004 – the triumph of power over skill – it is needed more than ever.”

What a lot of hokum! The neutral in me certainly doesn’t want to see Brazil in the World Cup final for the 28th consecutive time. The media are always desperate for the big teams featuring big players from Europe’s big clubs to do well so that they can create a spiralling edifice of sensationalism. It clearly wasn’t on for Greece to play above themselves in 2004 and expose the high profile European nations as a bunch of overrated nonentities. The media obviously got rather disconsolate, as little known Greek players like Charisteas and Zagorakis didn’t provide the marketability required to fuel tedious hyperbole. Brazil performing well in Germany this year will still be a fantasy for me - but a rubbish fantasy like Krull or Willow. World Cup 2006 will quite simply be ruined for many neutrals if there is too much simpering and fawning over Brazil. “Oooohhh, Ronaldinho, that’s just breathtaking! Ooooh, mesmerizing stuff from the Brazilians!”

Let us then hope that World Cup 2006 sees a team with few big names triumph. In my personal fairytale an unglamorous nation wins by defending deep, flooding the midfield, and kicking any arrogant step-over prinkers into the advertising hoardings. I want to see resolute no-frills teamwork (structured within a 5-4-1 formation) win the World Cup. That’s why I’m rooting for Serbia and Montenegro. They only conceded one goal in their 10 qualifying matches so could be just the team to spoil the World Cup for those idiots who want to see flowing football, amazing skills and great goals.

Serbia and Montenegro only have a few players who may be recognisable to the English viewer – centre-back Nemanja Vidic recently joined Man Utd, striker Mateja Kezman had one lacklustre season with Chelsea, and midfielder Dejan Stankovic plays for Inter Milan. Asides from this triumvirate there shouldn’t be much for the sensation-hungry to latch onto. So Koroman, Duljaj, Djordevic, Zigic, Dragutinovic et al are just the men to choke the contrived media hullabaloo into a meek silence.  I hope they progress from Group C with a 1-0 win and two scoreless draws – then draw the next four games 0-0, winning all of them in penalty shoot-outs.

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