Talking a good game
by Herr PaulIt’s been quite a week for English football. Big Phil says no to the Three Lions, Steve McClaren guides Middlesbrough to the UEFA Cup final and, consequently, puts himself in pole position for the top job. Then Saturday’s red tops reveal he’s been knobbing away from home. Then Rooney gets himself a sore hoof, and Glenn Roeder claims that Michael Owen felt a ‘dull ache’ during his comeback against Birmingham City. On top of that Crazy Horse has become a father for the first time. Welcome, son of Crazy Horse.
Yep, it’s been quite a week. But everything has paled into insignificance when the BBC announced its team of World Cup pundits this week.
As we all know, World Cup pundits are crucial to the overall experience. Whether it be Jimmy Hill and Terry Venables going at it each other, or Martin O’Neill arguing with anyone he can find, it all adds to the viewing pleasure. Get it wrong and it could make or break a channel.
This time around, the Beeb has stuck to tried and tested formulas – there’s Gary, there’s Alan, there’s Lawro. Then there’s Lee, and Manish, Adrian, Stubbsy and, God help us, Wrighty. Thankfully there is no Graeme Le Saux.
The Beeb’s World Cup special signings are ex-Brazilian World Cup-winning left back Leonardo, friend of Ron Atkinson Marcel Desailly and the Wee Man himself, Gordon Strachan. On paper pretty good – Strachan always gives good value, while Leonardo and Marcel, although, untried could be interesting. The Brazilian should get the female vote – he’s a tussle haired mofo if ever we saw one – and Desailly is knowledgable. Will he cower in the face of Hansen though?
On Five Live, the excellent Graham Taylor (the first time anyone has described him as such) is joined by Martin Jol and Paul Jewell. Again, promising.
So what of ITV? Nothing to report as yet, but traditionally the BBC wipe the floor with them. But ITV could turn it around if they decide to bring back Robbie Earle.
May 2nd, 2006 at 10:41 am
My dream World Cup 2006 presenter, panel and commentary team -
Presenter triple act - John Barnes, Davina McCall & Nick Owen
Panel - Cathy Freeman, Lester Piggott, Paul Scholes & Bob Willis
Standing by the pitch doing card tricks - Townsend & McCoist
Commentary team - Tony Gubba & Kriss Akabusi
Pitchside reporter - Sally Gunnell
May 2nd, 2006 at 11:44 am
Leonardo is an excellent selection by the beeb I feel. But my real dream team is as follows:
Anchorman: Simon Parkin
Panel: Mick Channon, John Redwood, Su Pollard & Jim Davidson
Standing by the pitch: Townsend & McCoist
Commentary team: Tony Gubba & Stephen Hawking
Pitchside reporter: Anita Roddick
May 2nd, 2006 at 12:48 pm
I’d like to hear Hawking explain how it is possible for Gubba to predict exactly what is going to happen in the games on which he commentates.
Davidson on the panel would be a treat, especially with Big Ron. I can see them enjoying a game between Togo and Trinidad & Tobago.
May 2nd, 2006 at 1:32 pm
Anchor Man - Philip Schofield (as he seems to do everything on every channel these days)
Panel - Jimmy Carr (doing a 100 best moments from the game segment), Anne Robinson (meaner than Hansen, links up well with Schofield), Terry Butcher as the opinionated ex-pro and TV funnyman Rory Bremner to provide an acerbic, sideways look at the game.
Pitchside - Townsend & McCoist, (obv.)
Commentary Team - Tony Gubba & Rosie Perez
Post match interviews - Selected players should be contractually obliged to be interviewed by their opposite number from the game, both immeadiately afterwards and in a Newsnight style debate with the referee at the next available evening.
May 2nd, 2006 at 3:26 pm
The stuff dreams are made of:
Anchorpeople: Michael Aspel, June Sarpong, Phillipa Forrester (naked)
Panel: Joe Pasquale, Richard Shaw, David Blunkett (to showcase the BBC’s new Brail interactive service), Minty from EastEnders
Analysis Truck: Dr Magnus Pyke and Andy Townsend
Commentary team: Kevin Costner and Mark Oaten
Postmatch interviews: John Inman
May 2nd, 2006 at 3:46 pm
Apparently if you press ‘green’ on your remote control you can watch Bobby Robson present a special 349 hour programme about the Hand of God goal.
May 3rd, 2006 at 12:12 pm
More than that Wes, Bobby Robson’s 349 hour programme is a live broadcast! However, every time a new viewer tunes in, Bobby starts again from the beginning so nobody misses out.
May 4th, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Good old Bobby! Mad as a hatter and as old as the hills. I hope he is enjoying himself.
Almost as much fun as It Was Over the Line by Geoff Hurst, a real page-turner and only 9086 pages long.