World Cup Drinking Game!
by Herr Ed
What you will need: Several bottles of cherryade* and a large packet of Twiglets.
Time and location: Living room in front of a telly for the Ivory Coast v Argentina game on 10th June.
How to play: Every time that ITV commentator Clive Tyldesley refers to midfielder Juan Riquelme as “Argentina’s Quarterback” - drink one glass of cherryade.
And then: After 20 minutes everyone must roll around on the floor feeling sick. Eat Twiglets during the second-half whilst recovering, and speculate as to how Didier Drogba managed to miss that sitter. The person who eats the most Twiglets wins!
* Enjoy cherryade responsibly
May 8th, 2006 at 10:30 am
What about if Clive just says ‘quarterback’?
May 8th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
How many glasses should be drunk if the Ivory Coast team are described as ‘naive’?
May 8th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
Can I substitute Twiglets for Mini Cheddars?
May 9th, 2006 at 8:10 am
You can substitute Twiglets for Mini Cheddars, but as per FIFA regulations, you must add on 30 seconds additional time for each substitution, with no more than three substitutions per match.
May 9th, 2006 at 9:53 am
Does it have to be Panda Cherryade?
May 9th, 2006 at 2:35 pm
How much cherryade should I drink each time ITV plug one of their phone-in competitions?
May 10th, 2006 at 1:05 pm
Add up the digits of the 5 digit text number and keep adding them together until you have a single digit number and that’s how many bottles (330ml or 250ml) you need to drink.
Double up that number if in the same segment, they advertise a further ITV programme due for broadcast on the same day.
May 11th, 2006 at 12:27 pm
How many bags of Twiglets do I have to eat when Lawro laughs at one of his own jokes?
May 12th, 2006 at 11:46 am
Your own weight in kilos, divided by ((number of chuckles + number of panellists) x quality of joke).
May 12th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
What happens if the drinking game ends in a draw?
May 18th, 2006 at 12:40 pm
If the drinking game ends in a draw, the drinking game goes into extra time. (2 lots of 15 minutes of the programme following a match, drink every time some words appear on screen). If after that, the drinking game is still tied, then the drinking game goes to penalties, which consists of a urine sample test. Whoever’s wee is reddest (or turns red first, should more cherryade be required) is declared drinking game winner.