Defence: Sol Campbell gets in of course and was assumed by all the papers to be a ‘definite’ prior to Sven’s announcement. Injuries have restricted him this year, but in the games he has played he’s looked very suspect. Forwards like West Ham’s Bobby Zamora and Wigan’s Jason Roberts have exposed Campbell’s lack of form, […]

What you will need: Several bottles of cherryade* and a large packet of Twiglets.
Time and location: Living room in front of a telly for the Ivory Coast v Argentina game on 10th June.
How to play: Every time that ITV commentator Clive Tyldesley refers to midfielder Juan Riquelme as “Argentina’s Quarterback” - drink one glass of cherryade.
And then: After 20 […]

I thought it might be an interesting task to work out an England team from this year’s fantasy football points. Some cold hard stats could reveal the players who’ve been performing well, but whose abilities have slipped undetected beneath the media’s hullabaloo propagation web. I used the scores from the Premier League’s site [on 6th May]: they utilise […]

I quote:
“Bolton manager Sam Allardyce admits it has been “very difficult” to accept he will not become England’s next head coach. Allardyce had been on the Football Association’s short-list, but Thursday’s appointment of Steve McClaren ended his hopes.”
When will this guy admit that the rest of the country are dancing for joy at his failure […]

The absence of Rooney would be a huge blow to England’s World Cup hopes, but let’s not despair - England could still have an excellent 2006. Rooney stood out at Euro 2004 as by far our best attacking player. However, as a result of England’s malformed team structure, it was only a dynamic loose cannon like Rooney […]

As WCH highlighted prophetically just a couple of weeks ago - at this time of year it is mandatory for at least one potential England squad member to break a metatarsal. However, we can exclusively reveal that measures are being taken to ensure that no more players will be joining Wayne Rooney and Ledley King on the metatarsal […]

An unnamed source advises WCH that meetings are taking place at BBC TV’s ‘World Cup Office’ in Cheadle, regarding music for the channel’s coverage of the big event.
Current favourites are:
Pato Banton ‘Baby Come Back’ 
Martine McCutcheon ‘Perfect Moment’  
Was Not Was ‘Shake Your Head’.

I need a strategy to cope with the fact that Wayne Rooney might be absent from the World Cup. I could face up to it and write an article about how England should organise the attack in his absence, but I’m just not ready yet! Instead I’m going to transfer my attention onto a much more […]