Rivalry between Olde Albion and Die Vaterland has always been intense – both on and off the football field. On the field, Germany are known as strong, ruthless and efficient, and are always somehow able to grind their way to victory. England on the other hand are known to play with fierce competitiveness, but their […]

“We wanted to nullify Ecuador and win the game, and we achieved all three.”
This is the logical and philosophically unrestrained wisdom we can now look forward to for the next 4 years. With one brief wordy punch, Steven has probably banished all criticisms of his appointment - the pack of journalists assembled before him simultaneously […]

Before the World Cup started our team members predicted who would be the leading lights in Germany. (Click here to review these predictions). Now that just eight teams remain in the tournament Herr Hippo thought he’d give his team another chance! An addition to these updated predictions is the ‘Golden Ball’, which is awarded to the best player at the World Cup, as chosen […]

Boffins at The University of Didcot have undertaken a bold experiment to establish the effects that different football teams have on spectator behaviour. Clinical Sociologists at the university played footage of football matches to spiders and recorded the effects that these matches had on their patterns of web construction. Dr Kold Porij from the University […]

This could be Herr Hippo’s last throw of the tactical dice for World Cup 2006! Before the tournament we suggested that the adoption of a 4-5-1 formation could maximise the potential of England’s midfield. However, although this configuration was in place for the last game, the midfield still failed to deliver.
The only thing that can […]

How exactly has this team of workmanlike, semi-skilled, negative journeymen made it into the quarter finals of the World Cup? A truly shambolic display against a hardly awe-inspiring Spain, a walk in the park against the dismal Saudi Arabia and a skinny victory over Tunisia courtesy of Shevchenko tripping over his own leg. The performance […]

A hippo goalkeeper is on average 3.5 metres long, and 1.5 metres tall. A human goalkeeper is on average 1.9 metres tall and 0.5 metres wide. This means that a hippo goalkeeper (parked sideways on the goal-line) takes up 29% goalspace, whereas a human goalkeeper takes up just 5%.
A human ball-winning midfielder weighs about 84kg. […]

It may seem premature to write a footballing obituary for a 31-year-old man at the peak of fitness, who captains his national team, scored the winning goal that took England into the quarter finals of the World Cup, and who may even lead Hinglan to World Cup glory. But David Beckham is a shadow of […]

A 1-0 victory over Ecuador progresses England to the quarter-finals, but does little to advance their credentials as potential world champions. The format was a familiar one: Ecuador presented little threat, but neither did England display any offensive nous. It required an impressive free-kick from Beckham for England to win the game. This performance therefore […]