After the Paraguay game, in which he was constantly penalised by a pedantic referee for leaning on defenders, England striker Peter Crouch stated: “It was a worry to pick up a booking, but I’m not going to change my game, although I may have to adapt it a bit.”

This statement has sent a ripple of excitement through the academic community, which senses that Crouch has inadvertently discovered a new paradox. Is it possible, or impossible, to adapt without changing? Dr Konjec Ture, Lecturer in Socio-Linguistics at the University of Wantage explains all.

“The terms ‘adapt’ and ‘change’ cannot be conflated, as there is a different nuance of meaning to each. Adaptation refers to an artefact’s adjustment to specific environmental conditions. It is thus associated with evolutionary theories which demonstrate how organisms adapt to survive within their ecological niche. Change, however, is a broader term and is potentially more radical than adaptation. Change therefore is not necessarily adaptive: it can be revolutionary, and challenge or subvert pre-existing environmental contexts.

“This difference in meaning might suggest that it is possible for one of these terms to be intrinsic to an activity or intention (but the other term absent) without the invocation of paradox. This is partially true, as it is possible to state, ‘I will change but not adapt’, as the broader meaning of the former word means that some types of change are possible that do not include adaptation. For example, if Crouch plays against Trinidad and Tobago dressed in a deep-sea diver’s outfit, and wrestles the corner flag for 90 minutes he would have changed his game, but not adapted it!

“However, under close scrutiny it becomes apparent that Crouch’s utterance is contradictory: it is impossible to avoid negation when utilising the terms in the manner that he has presented them. The fashion in which Crouch has arranged his sentence, ‘I will not change but will adapt’, invokes paradox. Change inheres in, and is a necessary property of adaptation. Stasis cannot be a feature of adjustment – it is impossible to simultaneously adapt and not change! The following equation summarises the Crouch paradox.”

Change [P] is intrinsic to Adaptation [Q]
Therefore [Q minus P] is not equal to Q

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