Weather Watch!
by Herr Ed
Meteorologists predict that temperatures in Stuttgart on Sunday could reach a blistering 35C. If my calculations are correct, that’s around about 467F - which is hot enough to boil magnesium.
England happen to be playing Ecuador at 5pm in Stuttgart on Sunday! It will surely favour the South Americans if the heat reaches the aforementioned Promethean levels. This means that, after 120 minutes of energy-sapping stalemate, Ecuador will beat us in a penalty shoot-out.
WCH is in the process of setting up its own state-of-the-art meteorological facility, and this should be ready by 2010. But in the meantime you can repeatedly check the outlook for Stuttgart by clicking here.
June 22nd, 2006 at 1:41 pm
I have some magnesium which requires boiling by Sunday evening. Is there anything in the rules which stops me asking Frank Lampard to carry it around in a mug during the game?
June 22nd, 2006 at 2:04 pm
Magnesium boils at 1090C, not 35C.
Chlorine boils at -35C and Bromine at 59C was Herr Ed thinking of one of those elements?
June 22nd, 2006 at 2:08 pm
And if you don’t want your mug to melt Wes, you best use one made of Gadolinium or at the very least, Promethium, assuming temperatures reach 1090C at Stuttgart. Although if FIFA are getting snooty about players carrying water round the pitch I can’t see them being favourable to players carrying Promethium mugs with boiling Magnesium in them.
June 22nd, 2006 at 2:22 pm
It’s the 3mph south-easterly wind I’m worried about
June 22nd, 2006 at 2:49 pm
which equation are you using to convert C into F. If F = 2C + 400 then you’re spot on!
June 22nd, 2006 at 3:10 pm
If F = 2C + 400 then spot on, but 3 degrees out.
June 22nd, 2006 at 3:38 pm
I believe Herr Ed has stumbled onto a whole new realm of Alchemy.
The following is a complete list of all elementary chemicals that melt below 35 degrees C:
Cs,Fr,Hg,Ga,N,O,F,Cl,Br,He,Ne,Ar,Kr,Xe,Rn.
Surely it can’t be a coincidence that this is an anagram of
“CRasY FrOG ENgLand BeAt BrAz WiN FifA wC”
June 22nd, 2006 at 3:41 pm
My mug is made of potassium. Is this ok? Should I send Lampard some special gloves and an apron?
June 22nd, 2006 at 8:10 pm
Definitely an apron
June 22nd, 2006 at 11:39 pm
An apron and the latest edition of the Penguin Big Book of Keeping Your Shots Down.
June 23rd, 2006 at 9:34 am
Potassium melts at 64C Wes, so check the local forecast before using it to keep your cherryade in.
June 23rd, 2006 at 10:41 am
The seaweed says it will be between 45 and 90C on Sunday. I’ll take my chances.
Th apron is in the post to Frank at PO BOX 421966 c/o Tord Grip.
June 23rd, 2006 at 12:37 pm
Does the seaweed have any predictions for the Germany Sweden game? I predict between 1 and 4 goals scored.
June 23rd, 2006 at 2:29 pm
The seaweed says the Swedes will win on penalties. I wouldn’t take too much notice, it also predicts Rio Ferdinand will be Sports Personality of the Year.
June 23rd, 2006 at 10:18 pm
I can just see Rio walking down the steps to pick up the award from Lineker, when Lineker announces the award goes to Andy Murray, whereupon Rooney, Neville and Becks point and laugh at Rio, saying, “You’ve been merc’d!”
June 26th, 2006 at 10:22 am
Tee-hee!
June 27th, 2006 at 1:50 pm
What will the weather be like on Saturday?
June 28th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
I heard it will be -13C in the shade and 199C in the sunlight.